My news feed has been bombarded with angry mom-shamers relentlessly unloading on the parents of the little boy
who fell into the Gorilla exhibit.
401,215 people signed a petition against this family last I checked.
Over four hundred thousand people are able to express empathy for Harambe but not for a fellow parent who took her eyes off her toddler for a
brief moment in time.
That's a lot of perfect parents out there.
Yes, I admit that there are neglectful and harmful parents in this world and
we have an obligation to protect those that need protecting, however the
outrage and violent verbal assaults to this family without adequate information is so disturbing to me. Here's how I feel:
- I am saddened by the death of such a beautiful and
endangered animal.
- I am grateful that the boy is safe and home with his family.
- I am feeling empathy and compassion for that family who
clearly suffered a terrible ordeal only to be vilified in social media.
What happened to empathy and compassion for fellow human beings?
Parenting is never perfect and most of us are trying our
best and sometimes mistakes are made. Mom-shaming does not solve problems; it
only alienates and divides us when we need support the most.
How many people reading this can say they have never lost
sight of their toddler for even a second?
I know I can’t.
Frankly that story is so frightening because I believe it
could have happened to me or to almost any mom I know. I remember being with a dear friend, who is a wonderful mom when
her two year old got lost at a crowded zoo. My friend and I were
there with 5 children in total and the toddler just disappeared. We were franticly
searching for what seemed like an eternity (maybe 15 minutes) when with the
help of kind strangers my 10-year-old daughter found the baby and brought her
back to safety.
No, I never had a child fall into a zoo exhibit however I
have…
- Locked my self in the bathroom in a
panic while my husband sat with my 18month old baby crying covered in head to
toe hives from a food allergy reaction while on vacation with no Benadryl or emergency medication.
- Turned my back for a second to have
my toddler fall head first off of a kitchen stool onto the tile floor.
- Allowed my 4 year old to push her
infant brother in an umbrella stroller on the sidewalk without being properly
buckled and as she lifted the back of the stroller to go over a bump he fell
on his forehead onto the sidewalk.
- Lost track of my 2-year-old girl in
a Target superstore for several minutes.
- Missed the fact that my daughter
had a fever (more than once) and dropped her off at school only to get a call from the school
nurse that she had a high fever and wound up positive for strep.
- Woke up one morning to find my
toddler had been trying to open a jar of fruit snacks with a kitchen knife
while the rest of the family was sound asleep.
- Forgot to pick up my 9 year old
from school while I was in the middle of
new client psychiatric intake evaluation that had gone over time and realized when the
school called me 20 minutes after dismissal with my little boy
worried something happened to his mommy.
We all have moments we regret despite our best intentions.
I
believe I am a good parent. I am trying my best each and every day. Just like most
moms and dads out there, including the parents of the little boy who fell into
the Gorilla exhibit, as well as the thousands of people who signed that petition.
I don't know if the incident at the zoo was the fault of the family, or of the zoo, of someone else or just an unfortunate accident. Without being there and having all the information I can't say. What I can say is that I believe most of us are trying our best each and every day.
Let’s try and remember that we are all human and none of us are perfect and next time you find yourself ready to vilify another human being, take a minute to stop and put yourself in their shoes before you take to your keyboard.
 |
| From Lose That Mommy Guilt |
Cara Maksimow, LCSW, CPC
Connect with me:
I love to tell the story of when my little boy was a young toddler and he kept throwing his toy cars toward the television. My husband repeatedly asked him to stop throwing his toys. My son ignored him. My husband even raised his voice a bit, which her rarely ever does. My son continued to ignore him. After a few minutes my husband called over to me while I was about 20 feet away in the kitchen and asked if I thought he had our little boy had a hearing issue. I stopped for a brief second and then said softly, "Who's mommy's sweet little boy?" My son then jumped up, looked at me and said "Me, mommy, me!"
