Anxious
thoughts happen to all of us at various times in our lives. Sometimes we are
able to dismiss an anxious thought or see it objectively without believing them
or getting caught up in them, but other times it can be much easier said than
done. I know personally how challenging it can be to calm anxious thoughts in
my own life as well as in my work. As a clinical therapist and coach, I work
every day with people with anxiety and high stress. One of the most important messages
that can help put those thoughts into perspective is to remember: Just
because I think it, does not make it true.
Often,
when we get caught up in our anxious thoughts, we are not able to separate
ourselves from the thought itself. We believe that because we are thinking it
that it must be true. The reality is, we think a lot of things that are not
true or helpful.
If
I asked you to close your eyes right now and imagine yourself as a professional
basketball player. Picture yourself out on the court, dribbling the ball and
making a three point shot. Can you play out a scenario where you score the
winning basket for your team? Now open your eyes.
Are
you really a professional basketball player? No? But you thought you were? Why
isn’t it true?
Being
able to recognize that our anxious thoughts are often as unrealistic as
thinking that we are professional basketball players can be a first step toward
calming anxious thoughts.
Ask
yourself what is the evidence supporting the anxious thought being true? What
is the evidence that it is not true?
Next,
ask yourself if something is the thought is probable vs possible. When a bad
event or fear is “possible” we mistake it for being “probable.” That
distinction is important to recognize. Lots of scenarios are possible, but
not probable. Can you more realistically identify how probable your anxious
thought really is?
Looking
at our thoughts without getting caught in them can take practice. Mindful
breathing is a great way to start. A simple exercise I use is to close my eyes,
take a deep breath through my nose and then blow the breath out through my
mouth as I picture myself blowing out an imaginary candle. Repeat at least 10
times.
Practicing
mindful breathing a little bit each day can help you observe your thoughts as
they come up without pushing the thoughts away or trying to hold on to or
grasping the thoughts. By focusing on breathing you can learn how to just
observe them as they come up without getting caught up in them. Start slow with
simple practices you can do right on your phone with some of my favorite
mindfulness apps like calm, headspace or insight timer.
Remember, Just because I think it, does not make it true!
Article originally published December 6th on Mind Globe Blog by Cara
