What is imposter syndrome and what can I do about it?

Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

So what exactly is “imposter syndrome?” We hear about it more and more. Technically, the term Imposter Syndrome is not a recognized or defined in the DSM. The DSM (aka Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) is the reference book which psychologists and therapists use to make an informed clinical diagnosis. That being said, imposter syndrome is widely recognized by most therapists and clinicians as a set of symptoms related to self-doubt and fall into the DSM diagnostic criteria for anxiety and at times, depression.

Imposter syndrome can be defined as someone not being able to fully internalize accomplishments and anxiety around fear “of being found out” or about a perceived current or future threat. It can be seen in highly successful people who have an internal belief they don’t deserve to be at the level of accomplishment the achieved in their career. Psychologists first described imposter syndrome in a clinical paper in 1978 and since then it has been estimated that it affects up to 70% of the population.

In my clinical therapy practice, I work with adults and older teens who struggle with symptoms of depression or anxiety. Many of my clients have thoughts, fears and worries that can be categorized by the term imposter syndrome. It is especially common in my practice with teen girls with high expectations and performance in school.   These fears and worries often come from our beliefs about a situation and not necessarily the situation itself. Self-talk (the way we interpret our lives in our heads) can be based more in fear and anxiety than in objective truth or reality. These thoughts are be labeled “cognitive distortions”. These distortions are ways of labeling or categorizing our negative thought patterns, which we all use to a different degree. Cognitive distortions perpetuate core beliefs about ourselves that we have developed over time from messages we get from our families, teachers, media, friends, and others.  These messages become a part of our automatic inner voice.

The more often we tell ourselves these negative ANTs, (automatic negative thoughts) the more ingrained they become. Imagine they make an impact in our brains not unlike the way a path gets worn in the grass from being walked across over and over. In order to change the thoughts we need to consciously change the ANT and see it from a more realistic and objective view. By really examining the evidence that supports and doesn’t support the ANT, it becomes clear that many times the ANT’s are just thoughts, not truths. By doing so, we can create a new, more realistic cognitive path and allow the figurative grass to grow where the ANT used to be.

Another thing I see in my clinical practice is the connection between imposter syndrome and perfectionism. People who are very driven and success oriented and work hard for achievements can often become frightened once they accomplish what they set out to do. The cognitive distortion manifests as black and white thinking. They believe that they have to be perfect or else they have completely failed. Finding that middle ground can be challenging because so much of who they believe they are rests on perceived performance. People believe that their inner voice needs to be critical and the best way to self-motivate is through harsh inner dialogue. The core belief that “it is not ok to brag” or “if I get too comfortable someone will come along and be better than me” can contribute to the need to buy into the cognitive distortions related to perfectionism.

Although data shows this is seen in both men and women, I find it more and more common with women. It may be because as children, boys are socialized to be more risk takers and girls not as much. Girls are socialized to be more risk adverse than boys and it often can be seen in adulthood related to career. Especially in careers that are more male dominated, women can feel isolated and begin to doubt themselves and their ability to be where they are, despite the evidence that they deserve to be there. 

So if we understand all of this, what can we do about it?

Here are a few steps that can help.

• Self-care: When people aren’t taking care of themselves physically, negative thoughts can be more prevalent. It is important to exercise and maintain healthy habits. Self-care is not selfish, it is a necessity for happy and productive living.

• Work/life balance: Having strong boundaries around work are also important. Creating a healthy balance with socializing, family, hobbies and creative outlets.

• Work with a cognitive behavioral therapist to identify limiting core beliefs and ANTs.  Reframe negative thoughts and beliefs using more adaptive strategies, such as examining the evidence and challenging distorted thinking.

• Practice self-compassion. Researcher and Psychologist, Kristen Neff describes self-compassion as recognizing stressors and suffering as part of life and that people are not alone in their struggles.  She urges people to speak to themselves the way they would speak to someone they care for and love with kindness and compassion. Often our own self-talk is much harsher than we would ever speak to anyone else, so the idea of practicing self-compassion is creating a kinder and more supportive inner dialogue.

• Practice mindfulness and meditation. By having a regular mindfulness practice we can help to build that awareness around out thoughts. That awareness can create a space between situation and response instead of the automatic reaction and self-destructive thoughts.

• Let go of perfectionism. Understand the origin and find a balance between perfect and OK in order to create more realistic and healthy standards and expectations.

• Re-define failure as a motivator, a positive experience. Instead of personalizing failures, see them as growth opportunities to become better and more resilient. Some of the biggest success stories come out of perceived failures.