Why a mental health day is so important...

Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash

A few weeks ago a 26 year old web developer’s twitter post about taking sick time for mental health reasons went viral. Her message to her boss was:

"I'm taking today and tomorrow to focus on my mental health. Hopefully I'll be back next week refreshed and back to 100%,"

The company CEO, Ben Congleton, read her note, he sent the following a supportive reply back.

"Hey Madalyn, I just wanted to personally thank you for sending emails like this. Every time you do, I use it as a reminder of the importance of using sick days for mental health – I can't believe this is not standard practice at all organizations. You are an example to us all, and help cut through the stigma so we can all bring our whole selves to work,"

As a therapist, I see a huge significance in that response. The stigma around mental health and behavioral health continues to be a barrier toward effective treatment and proper self-care. Taking the viewpoint that mental health and physical health are equally important can go a long way to more effective prevention and increasing health and well-being.

When we are sick we stay home from work for three main reasons:

1.    Working while sick with a cold, cough, fever, stomach virus or any other medical condition can exacerbate symptoms and ultimately make us sicker. For those of us who go to our jobs despite feeling sick because we don’t want to get behind in our work, we can wind up getting even sicker and missing more days than if we just rested when our symptoms started.

2.    Productivity goes down when we are feeling sick. Being tired, in pain or suffering through illness can interfere with our ability to do our job effectively. It’s tougher to concentrate, more difficult communicating and slows down our productivity.

3.    We can get other people sick. Coming into the office or workplace while sneezing, coughing or with other contagious symptoms can affect those around us. Whether it’s our coworkers or clients, it creates a larger problem for the office.

Let’s look at the same three reasons and apply them to taking a mental health day and as you can see, they still apply:

1.    Coming to work and ignoring warning signs of stress, depression or anxiety can increase symptoms. Knowing yourself and how to reduce emotional reactivity and/or unhealthy responses to stress by taking appropriate breaks can go a long way to maintaining healthy mental and emotional wellness.

2.    Productivity is also negatively affected. When we are overly stressed out, depressed, or anxious it can be very challenging to stay on task, stay focused or communicate effectively with others.

3.    You may think that getting other people sick in traditional terms may not apply, but that's not exactly true. We as human beings are affected by the mood, attitude and emotions of those around us. Going to work when feeling depressed, negative, or with poor emotional regulation absolutely affects the mood and productivity of those around us. Have you ever found yourself feeling down after spending time or working with someone who was in a bad place emotionally? What about smiling when you see someone smiling? New research in the area of “mirror neurons” is starting to explain why we sometimes experience emotions as contagious. Here’s a great video with more details: https://youtu.be/HTFdMwCXpMw   

Taking care of our physical health has now become mainstream and part of our daily routine. We all know how healthy foods, exercise, drinking more water, using sunscreen, getting sleep (whether we do them or not) can positively affect our physical health. These things also have an impact on our mental and emotional health as well as other practices that are slowly getting attention. Having a healthier work/life balance, increasing time with loved ones, as well as practices such as mindful meditation, are all becoming more important as we better understand a more integrative and holistic approach to health and wellness. 

That being said, taking a sick day for emotional or mental health reasons is as important as taking one for physical illness.  

It is all part of a effective self-care for better health and wellness.  Thank you to Madalyn and her boss Ben for getting the conversation going!  

Make Failure Your Friend!

How many of us have a fear of failure? 

Could you see your failure in a positive light?  

Fear of failure can have a huge negative impact on how we live our lives. It can stop us from taking risks or trying new things. For perfectionists, this fear can be even more debilitating.

As Brene Brown said in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection

“Perfectionism is self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”

Failure is seen as unimaginable. Most of us want to avoid negative feelings like shame, judgment, and blame, which go hand in hand with failure.

This week Gatorade released a new commercial that turns that idea that failure is all bad upside-down. In the ad “Make Defeat Your Fuel” sports stars, Michael Jordan, Peyton and Eli Manning, and Serena Williams reveal their greatest failures which ultimately motivated them toward their greatest victories. The ad then highlights Atlanta Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan at the end of February’s Super Bowl where the Falcons blew a 28-3 lead to the New England Patriots. Click here to take a look.

We have a choice - either let failure be what stops us, or use it to motivate us toward success. 

This speaks to the idea of Mindset by Psychologist and Author, Carol Dweck, Ph.D. In her book she describes the new psychology of success with what she calls a growth mindset. When we have a growth mindset it means we have a strong desire to learn, we embrace challenges, persist in the face of obstacles, learn from criticism, and find lessons and inspiration in the success of others. 

In other words, with a growth mindset we don’t fear failures, instead we use them to create better opportunities. 

For those of us who have an overwhelming fear of failure, we are operating from a fixed mindset, which means we avoid challenges, give up easily, often see effort as fruitless, ignore negative feedback, and can feel threatened by the success of other people.

With a fixed mindset, we stay stuck; with a growth mindset, failure can be our friend.

One of my new favorite books is Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant. Sheryl is the author of the book “Lean In” from 2013. Option B Was co-written by Adam Grant, author and psychology professor at Wharton School at University of Pennsylvania. 

Together they wrote Option B following the tragic and sudden death of Sheryl's husband in 2015. She shares heart-wrenching and inspiring personal stories about facing adversity, building resilience, and finding joy with the help of positive psychology (PP)and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). In Chapter 9 of her book she talks candidly about "failing at work." Sheryl returned to work as a widow, single mother, and mourning her husband. Through this "new normal" she learned the importance of a growth mindset.

In Option B she talks about how important it is for all of us to learn from our mistakes. She points out how initial failure can be more effective for creating future innovation than success. Having a culture where people feel safe talking about mistakes can create opportunities for new discoveries and creative ideas that can lead to more overall success. 

As a small business owner and clinical therapist I keep a picture of "famous failures" above my office desk as a simple reminder to keep my perfectionism in check.

If I pay attention I can see examples of growth following failure all around me. When my son has a fantastic little league baseball game, hitting his first grand slam,  I realized he had spent extra time focused on batting practice following a game where he struck out every time at bat. 

With a growth mindset, failure can be your friend.

If you are interested in checking out the books mentioned here, you can go to my resources page of my website maximize-wellness.com for these and more helpful resources.

Also, if you want to learn more about counseling with CBT and PP feel free to check out my website or reach out any time for a free consultation! :-) Cara