Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Mindfulness without Meditation?

Mindfulness seems to be everywhere lately.  Just today I read on the Action for Happiness Facebook page and mindful.org that the UK became the first country to publish an all-party parliamentary report on the benefits of mindfulness.  That is huge!

Just a few weeks ago my 11 year was excited to tell me they had a mindfulness meditation practice in gym class!  In my small corner of NJ that is also pretty huge! Funny how when mommy suggests meditation, I am usually met with that infamous "tween" eye roll…

My journey with mindfulness is a relatively recent one.  After leaving a long career in Sales Training and Sales Management I returned to my very first passion, Social Work.  I began practicing as a clinical therapist using skills from my Columbia University MSW in the 1990’s as well as more recent training and coursework in Positive Psychology.  Meditation and/or Mindfulness has become a significant part of my work, yet it was something I found challenging personally. 

I am a thinker and a worrier. 

As my husband often tells me “It must be exhausting being in your head all day”.  

He was right.  It was. 

It took me a while to get to where I am now, practicing meditation fairly regularly.  That means around 5 out of 7 days per week, approximately 10 – 20 minutes a day.  For me, that's awesome!  I am careful not to judge myself or get frustrated when I miss days here and there. 

 I have learned to focus on my progress instead of on when I fall short. For me, for now it is #mindfulenough.

Feeling and experiencing the subtle changes that mindful meditation has brought into my life I try to encourage it with others however not everyone is open to the idea.  That got me thinking about mindfulness a little differently.  In ACT, which is a part of my work, mindfulness does not need to be connected with formal meditation.  It dawned on me that I had been using  a form of mindfulness as a child when I would swim.  Being on a competitive swim team throughout my childhood I can remember hours and hours of swimming laps in the pool.  I would see swimming as a way for me to relieve stress and “clear my head”.  The silence of being under the water and the rhythmic movement of my stroke gave me with a sense of comfort and calm even though I really did not understand why at the time.  I would breathe every third stroke and would often find myself saying to myself  “1…2…3… breathe…1…2…3…breathe” over and over as I practiced. 

I was using mindfulness and not knowing it.  I bet you may be too.

For those of you with a curiosity about mindfulness but not really sure if you are ready to introduce something new into your life, here are just a few of many ways that may help you start to be more mindful without meditation, similar to the experience I used to have when swimming:

1.     Exercise

Like in my experience, repetitive exercise like swimming, running or yoga that requires you to focus on your body and on your breathing can be a way to practice mindfulness. 

2.     Creativity & Art

Painting, drawing, coloring or other creative activity where you can focus your full attention on making something beautiful can be a great way to recharge your batteries and reduce the chatter that goes on in your mind.

3.     Nature

Getting outside and take a walk.  Notice the trees, flowers, breeze and use all of your senses to take in nature and the beauty around you.  Notice the way the wind is blowing, the smells, the temperature and the sounds.

4.     Music

Listen to music without distractions.  Take time to fully hear the different instruments playing, lyrics and notice the feelings or emotions that come up as you listen. 

5.     Journal

Daily journaling or writing can be another way to be mindful.  It could be a gratitude journal or other type of writing or just simply jotting down your day.  My grandfather used to keep a daily journal and after he passed away my cousins and I would read through them and wonder why he would write every day, even the most simple, uneventful and mundane things.  Now I better understand the benefits of his writing.

6.     Be Intentional

Find a few tasks you do every day, like brushing your teeth, taking a shower or washing the dishes.  Stop multitasking and focus on those tasks with curiosity and wonder as if you had never done them before.  What does the water feel like, what sounds do you hear, what other senses can you engage as you perform this task? 

Whatever time you have, make the most of it by looking to add a little more intention and mindfulness to your day. Start small.  #mindfulenough.

If you want more information on the work that I do please go to my website www.maximize-wellness.com and feel free to reach out! If therapy or coaching is not right for you, you may want to check out other blog posts, explore products, attend a workshop, sign up for my newsletter or connect via Facebook or Facebook group

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Other side of the story

How often do we make judgments on bits and pieces of information?  

Pretty often!  

We think we have enough information and we feel pretty confident we know enough to criticize or condemn someone else's actions.  

This week the story of an Aunt sueing her nephew for breaking her arm was EVERYWHERE. Instantly this woman was made infamous for being the worst Aunt ever!
I admit that when I saw the facebook feed with the headline I had similar thoughts about this story.  
Today, having heard her interview on the Today Show provided some more information about what really was behind this lawsuit and made me realize that I jumped to judgement like many others. 
Take a look at the human side of this story.  Whether you believe that the actions were justified or not, the truth is there is a young boy and his aunt who are being targeted and bullied in the media.  So much so that they had to appear on a national television show to speak to the world about their side of the story.  

Let's stop and think about the fact that there is never just one side to any story or situation. 

What does it say about us as a society that we are so quick to bully and judge a stranger in such a public way?
I realize that making judgments on situations will always happen, however I would like to work on taking a moment to think about the fact that there are always more sides to every story.  

Stop and recognize that "truth" is subjective.

 Peoples lives can be very negatively affected by our comments and judgments.
Remember this next time you start typing away about someone or something based on a media blurb...

Monday, October 5, 2015

My Mindful Pumpkin Spice...

I love getting my starbucks pumpkin spice soy latte this time of year. Today I enjoyed my coffee mindfully thanks to Melli O'Brien & Susan Albers from today's  Mindfulness Summit.  If you are interested in learning more about incorporating mindfulness into your life, this is a great resource worth checking out the Summit!
Today Susan Albers, clinical psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic and one of the worlds leading experts on mindful eating provided six tips for mindful eating that I was excited to try with my favorite coffee.
Here is what I learned:

Sit down

This one may seem obvious but it made me realize how often I eat standing at the counter instead of sitting down.

Slow down

Go slow!  Try using your least dominant hand.


Smell your food, look closely at it, listen to the sounds it makes.  Take time to savor and not multitask as you are eating.


Make it easy to eat healthy by putting healthy options in your sight and other options tucked away.  For example, put fruit on the table and snacks in a cabinet.


Enjoy your meal, smile!

After listening to today's interview I set my weekly goal in my Kick Ass Plan to use these tips to eat mindfully for at least two of three meals a day for the next seven days. No more standing over the counter or working while eating...  wish me luck!
:-) Cara