Being a mom is one of the toughest, most rewarding jobs there is. The vast majority of women do it, yet so many of us struggle with thinking we have failed or are behind everyone else. It’s this nagging feeling that somehow other women have mastered the job while we flounder in insecurities and self-doubt.
It starts early, even in pregnancy. It starts when you see those “other” pregnant women with adorable little baby bumps, cute outfits and glowing skin while you just feel fat, tired and nauseous.
We want to get this right. As moms we are trying to make perfect what we see as one of the most important jobs in our lives, so we use other moms as our measuring stick.
Here’s the problem. We don’t see the whole picture with anyone else. We see ourselves every minute of every day. The good, the bad and the ugly. We are self critical and have unrealistic expectations of what motherhood “should” look like. When we see other moms, we are only seeing what they chose to show us whether it is in public places or on social media.
First step is to stop comparing yourself to others is to remember that what you are seeing is not the whole picture!
Much of the information we get about other families comes from pictures, social media and stories that other moms tell us. All of those are carefully orchestrated points of time that reflect what other people want the world to see. The perfect smiling faces are not reflective of the yelling, crying or whining that most likely preceded the perfect picture.
Remember that behind every seemingly ideal picture is a mom who feels just like you do.
Talk to yourself the way you would talk to another mom.
So why can’t we do the same for ourselves?
Somehow we can see the accomplishments and the positive aspects of others but miss them when it comes to ourselves.
If you start looking for the good you will start to find it.
Try keeping a journal at the end of your day. Do it with your kids. You can identify the bright spots that went well and pat yourself on the back for all the awesome and wonderful accomplishments of the day.